AlternateRoute

A neighbour lent us a dodgy copy of the Da Vinci Code movie over the weekend. I had read the book and thought it was nothing to write home about. The gaping plot holes, inaccurate history, and surprisingly easy codes were carried on to the movie.

Many things didn’t make sense to me. At the start, the albino monk (apologies to the Society for the Fair Depiction of Pigment Challenged People in Popular Culture), intends to kill the old man. Despite having a clean almost point blank shot at his head, he decides to shoot him in the stomach, so he has time to run around the Louvre, writing graffiti near old masterpieces.
Just how did a GPS tracking system managed to track Robert Langdon while he was indoors, and was the mapping software really accurate enough to show the interior layout of buildings. I would love that sort of thing for Geocaching. Speaking of which I did a cache called “Play It Again Sam” by “The Odlids” which required much harder code breaking than it the Da Vinci Code. (Including reverse morse code sound files embedded in a word document using steganography software.)
Also, why did they take Silas on the plane? If someone broke into my house and tried to kill me, the last thing I would do if I managed to overpower them, would be to take them with me somewhere. Unless it was the nearest police station.
I can believe that Jesus was married, I can believe that he had kids, I can believe that this might change the story of the bible and the church might want to protect the power they have over the story, but I can’t believe that Tom Hanks would appear on screen with such a haircut.

The highlight of the movie was reading the sub titles. The copy we had was Russian, so the initial titles were over-titled in Russian, but then sub-titles came up in English. This was useful when the actors spoke French “merde!” but hilarious to read in English. My favourite was when a heavily accented voice said that Mary’s sarcophagus would be found under the “starry sky”. If he only had the sub-titles to go by, Langdon would be looking for her under the “storage guy”.
Oh, and not wanting to stereotype the French, but the three top billed French men in the film are all called Jean. The one saving grace of the movie is that Gerard Depardieu wasn’t included as one of the token Frenchmen.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 22nd, 2007 at 1654 and is filed under Films. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.