Balmain Buggery

Good evening folks and welcome,
To this evening’s revelry,
I thought I’d start by telling,
How this evening came to be.

It started with the publican,
Who had a word to Mel,
“We’ve got to bring some culture,
To an old Balmain hotel”

“Let’s send the bouncers home,
lest we be accused of thuggery,
Put Bushwackers and sheep on stage,
And call it “Balmian Buggery”

An Australiana free-for-all,
Except it won’t be free,
Of course we’ll need a compare,”
And that’s how you’re stuck with me.

I didn’t what buggery meant,
But I got a small insight,
While thumbing thru the dictionary,
Before I came tonight.

Now buggery means “Anal sex
With human or with beast”
So take your choice, but I’d suggest,
The one that hurts the least.

A human bot of either sex,
Will no doubt do just fine,
Or dog or cat or cow or horse,
Avoid the porcupine.

While in the rural regions,
Before capital divested,
The economy rode on the sheeps back,
I tried, and got arrested.

Yes, now it’s time, I must confess,
That one of my great loves,
Is to follic in the paddocks,
With a pair of velcro gloves.

What luck should now befall me,
For coming to this show,
Is a man who shears (shares) his sheep,
So we all can have a go.

But we’ve got one more support act,
To keep you all inspired,
How ’bout a country singer,
Cracking whips and breathing fire.”

[missing verse!]

Yes buggery’s the theme,
And it won’t be very long,
Till we hear Dobe forget the words,
And bugger every song!!!!

©copyright A Jack 1995
Written for the “Balmain Buggery” show at the Cat and Fiddle Hotel, featuring The Bushwackers, live sheep shearing (by Anthony Stimson), and a whip cracking, fire breather (Holly Amber Whittaker), with AJ as the MC.

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